— in Mia's dreams —

it was only Mia in a dark place, you couldn't see any other shapes or any other living beings. she was all alone, she just... felt really sad. she couldn't move her body, her tiny body was stuck in this big world. it's how she constantly felt, she always felt small. she felt small in a way she couldn't change a single thing of her fate. it looked like she didn't have her fate in her own hands. Mia... liked being in control of things so she hated feeling like this. it looked like she had been stuck in an endless loop, always having the same ending: June and Luna leaving her. she couldn't change it, she couldn't bring herself to do so. she felt like she only let things to be the way they were since she felt so undeserving, she knew that she was the one who fucked up... she was the one who was fucked up all along. how come she felt this way in a dream? and here she thought that dreams were her safe place from any harm in the real world, the only thing she wanted at that moment was to wake up.

suddenly, everything turned bright. she was abruptly at someone's place she didn't know, it seemed to be a party with everyone dancing around. she took a cup that seemed to be full of alcohol on a table. everything went so fast, she was already making out with someone in the kitchen, she didn't even know who it was, she didn't really care at this point.

I found out the way to your heart

Then found myself completely lost

Whatever, it doesn't matter, we fine

I don't need to label how we good time

And we don't need to tell nobody, we ride

'Cause fuck it, we're young, it's just fun

everything felt both clear and not, she just went with the flow. at some point, she was making out with two girls.

It started off just a touch

Innocent like friends, like friends

Yeah, wake up here tired, horizontal

We just friends, just friends

Maybe one drink, nothing too far gone (too far)

Is it the stars saying fall in love? No

We don't say much as we lay here

We just friends, just friends

they were all making out to the beat of the song, their tongue dancing with one another & their body moved along with it. the two girls went down on Mia's body with their fingers and tongue colliding with her body, they were giving kisses to Mia's neck and they were full of raw feelings and emotions. it was supposed to be only two strangers, right... ? they conveyed a billion of feelings with their kisses. after kissing Mia's neck quite enough, they looked at her right in the eye with lust and desire in their eyes. that's when... Mia realized it was Luna and June.

— back to reality, Mia woke up —

she woke up at Tyler and Emily's flat (they were roommates), she woke up really confused. she didn't know how she ended up there:

« - hum, — she let out a cough to catch their attention — hey... Ty, Em, how did I end up here...?

- you're finally awake ! — Emily started as Tyler just looked at her and smiled at her — you lost consciousness in the street, it was around 3am. we were going home from a party and you were just laying there. rough night, huh? you've been actually sleeping for a while so we were really worried, we were this close to bring you to the hospital.

- oh god... i'm glad you didn't bring me to the hospital. June would have been so worried-... — her heart felt heavy when she mentioned her name —

- that's why we didn't call her, we know how she rolls — it was Tyler that spoke this time — anyway you can stay here as long as you want, tell us if you need anything. i mean... tell Em if you need anything because i'm heading now. got a dick appointment — Tyler headed out as soon as he gave the ladies a peck on their forehead, on his way out he waved at them — ciao!

- so... — Emily looked at Mia — pretty sure something happened between you and June. i know you both well enough that something did happen, Mia.

- i... i can't even hide it to you, Em — Mia proceeded as she explained what happened to Emily, she fully trusted Emily so she even talked about Luna —

- damn, babygirl, you're a fuckgirl.

- hey! you're not helping!

- just kidding, just kidding. this is, uh, a tough situation. i guess you haven't heard the news yet?

- what... news?

- well, you already know that Dylan is back in town for a while now. and... they're both back together now. it's quite recent actually. probably a bit after what happened between the two of you.

- i'm... a fucking idiot. i had her, i fucking had her... and i fucked everything up.

- wow, calm down fucker. i'm pretty sure they'll soon break up as usual. June doesn't love him, it's obvious.

- no but what if she does...? she probably finally realized she deserves better and Dylan... i hate to say this but Dylan is the nicest guy you could ever ask for.

- so you're giving up like that? i was actually rooting for you. i mean the way you sound... it seems like you've made a choice in your mind, it seems like you chose June. it's always been her after all.

- i don't know, Em... i keep hurting her. i'm willing to give up for her.

- are you sure it's for her? you're scared of being hurt too. i know you, Mia. you've always been scared to fall for anyone, that's why you weren't already dating June and now that you have fallen for someone, you want to back up your feelings in order to protect yourself. »

this hit Mia quite harder than a fucking drug- Emily just had the right words to hit her in the right place. but it was the right thing to do. it was the only way to make Mia think twice. Emily understood that Mia needed to think about this so she softly patted her head: « if you need me, you know i'm here. », they both smiled at each other and Mia thanked her.

Mia wanted to both empty her mind and collect her thoughts, her mind was clearly a mess though. she knew she needed to go out and distract herself because she couldn't just stay this way. she told Emily she was going out and she asked her if she could come back as she didn't want to be alone at her place, Emily told her she could come back whenever she wanted as she knew Tyler wouldn't probably show up for days when he says "dick appointment".

after getting prepared and all dressed up, she took off. she somehow tried to convince herself it was a good idea to go on all the places that reminded her of June. oh shit, it hurt. even more when she listened to her usual playlist where it had songs that she listened to with her.

And I want you

We can bring it on the floor

You've never danced like this before

We don't talk about it

Dancin' on do the boogie all night long

Stoned in paradise, shouldn't talk about it

this one song they danced to, with Mia's fingers taking a walk on June's skin. the song they had their first slow dance, the first song they nervously laughed to together as the two couldn't look each other right in the eye because they had been just getting to know each other. and Mia remembered, her nervous hands caressing June's back, trying to pull her closer to her by putting her hands around her waist. she was so taken aback by June's beauty that she was surprised by herself for even making out with her the first time they met, with their lips collapsing together and their tongue that felt like they knew each other for so long. she realized that they really had something special between the two of them, it wasn't like any of her other hookups. the others made her feel like she was an object though she kind of did the same with them but it was only to satisfy each other's needs, nothing less, nothing more. she did expect more from time to time, of course she wanted to feel loved. but soon enough when she felt like they were getting close to her, she put on a wall. she really didn't want to hear her heart break anymore. well guess what? she fucking did when all of those things happened and all of it happened because she was scared. she finally learned that no matter what happens, you won't avoid getting your heart broken and now, she would rather having hers broken by taking risks and not because she was too scared to do shit. all of this made her realized that she fucking missed June, she fucking loved her. how could she even lie like that to herself? the way their body fit right well into one another, the way June called her with sweet names & the way she made her heart dance like no one ever did with all the things she did and said. she was so scared of falling in love all this time yet June was the only willing to fall for her, no one else was. Luna wasn't willing to take that risk, she understood it though and she was pretty sure it wasn't love what she felt for her. she was in love with the idea of her and with the things she made her do when they were both together.

Mia was determined, she had to end this. she had to end whatever she was trying to start with Luna, she had to give both of them a closure even if she somehow knew that she never felt the same for her, it was the proper thing to do. she had come in terms with her own thoughts, for once, she knew what she was doing. it was close to sunset when she came to their usual place, she hoped to see Luna but she found herself staring at the sky. she took a seat and she continued contemplating the pretty sky.

she took out her phone and she put songs out loud since there was no one around.

Always gonna steal your thunder

Watch me like a dark cloud

On the move collecting numbers

I'ma take your girl out

We will be everything that we'd ever need

Don't tell me, tell me what I feel

I'm real and I don't feel like boys

I'm real and I don't feel like boys

she casually mumbled the lyrics, it made her think of Luna. actually everything at this moment did; the sun setting at 10pm with the moon out on the other side as well, the mood, the place and fuck, the song. she remembered Luna sending her the lyrics of it just a random moment of the day which probably wasn't that random if she just remembered of how she liked girls which is pretty understandable and... relatable.

Saw your face, heard your name

Gotta get with you

Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

Isn't this why we came? Gotta get with you

Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

and that's when Luna exactly appeared, singing those lyrics behind Mia. when Mia noticed her, she was surprised as it was just too perfect, it was the right fucking moment. they both smiled at each other as Luna laid down next to her:

« - so now it's your turn completing the lyrics of the song i put?

- seems like it, Mia.

— the same comfortable and enjoyable silence was there, they both watched the sky for a while as both of them were waiting for the other to break the silence —

- i went home and faced my mom.

- oh yeah? how did it go?

- pretty bad actually. this is why i'm here. and it's why i went to your place in the first place...

- oh... i'm sorry.

- you don't have to. so you're both dating? you haven't been here so i guessed that maybe you were... busy.

- ah, we're not. we actually argued after that.

- shit, was it because i surprised you both and she had the bad idea? plus my reaction didn't help either...

- kind of but it wasn't your fault. it was a misunderstanding but she snapped at me and left as soon as she finished so i couldn't explain her anything.

- i'm sorry... — she embraced Mia tightly —

- no, please don't apologize. i could have done something...

- i mean, it's not too late. right?

- it is, — Mia sadly chuckled — she's back with that fucking retard.

- hey. you really love her, huh? she was the one you were talking about?

- i actually didn't really know what or who i was talking about. — Mia looked at Luna straight in the eye — i thought i was in love with you at that time actually.

— Luna was surprised by Mia's honesty and she smiled since her directness made her happy —

- i thought so too. i, uh, heard you, i'm sorry. that's why i was so confused. i went back home because i freaked out then that's when my dumbass confronted my mom and i went back to your place because i was sorry for freaking out on you like that and i didn't really have a place to call home other than... you.

- ugh, i was the dumbass. i was really confused, i might still am and i hate myself for being this way. i'm sorry for what i'm doing to both of you. i'm really happy that you consider me as your safe place though... you can come whenever you want.

- i was... still in love with Alex. but you made me forget him, you made me want to move on so i did. the adventure you took me to was beyond amazing, all the things you made me do, all the things you showed me and all the things you told me. i loved all of it. and i knew i mattered at least for a bit, you made me feel special. but Mia... i know you love her. she's someone you'll always have in your heart no matter what happens next. i still remember that night you started acting weird when you saw two people kissing, it seemed like you knew them. i didn't think much of it until i came to your place and i saw her. it was her. and judging by your reaction that night, the way you were holding her when i saw you... you do love her. you don't love me. you loved the risks we made each other take, you loved the extent we were capable to take things to.

— Mia started crying, she wasn't particularly sad but it just hit in the right place. she knew that Luna was right, she damn was —

- Luna, i... thank you. this is probably the sign i was looking for. i'm really grateful i met you. i'm so sorry i had to get you involved in all of this.

— she snuggled into Luna's arms —

- no, thank you, Mia. i don't think i would have been able to move on from Alex soon. — she hugged her even more tightly and she patted her back — you're the only person who made me forget who i was for a while... so thank you. »

they both hugged for a while, it was probably one of the longest they had, it was a heart to heart one. their eyes met and they both smiled, it seemed like both of them were at peace. they didn't need to talk, like most of the time, they knew.

she's going to take her back.

she's going to take June back.

Chapter 12

take her back